Long, Long, Long, Long Way from Home

In nearly 22 years since I moved to Alabama, I have made numerous trips back home to PA to family and friends. The older I get, and the older my family gets, leaving is never easy.

I have been known to weep my eyes out before leaving in a part of the house here and try to get it all out of me before I say my see you laters.

The tears and the emotions are starting a day early. That’s unusual.

It’s been a very busy and full few days with this trip. Getting to be with Sammy the day I arrive. The next day is the concert with John The Music Nut. The day after that I drive my Mom to the Amish Country and take in the beautiful ride to the area, as well the food. Then the next day was meeting up with my dear cousin, Lisa, and Brenda, a classmate of mine that I have known since our kindergarten days but other than social media, I haven’t seen her in nearly 40 years. There was a comfortable feeling where I didn’t feel like I had to pretend. I could be me. It helped having Lisa with me as she and Brenda were friends in school but didn’t keep up over time so that was a nice reunion.

Sunday is church with Mom. Sadly it was a dreary day so the views were not happening. But then lunch at the Seemsville Pub and Grille with an aunt and another dear cousin of mine as well as Lisa joining in. Being surrounded by such dear cousins filled my heart to overflow. And it was overflowing already these past few days.

I discovered something sad about myself with this trip. I used to love playing pinochle with my parents before Dad passed away as Dad was the best partner. It was always the guys vs. the girls (my Mom and wife). Maybe our competitiveness came out a little too much at times but we had fun playing. I discovered that I don’t have any desire to play card games or any kind of game anymore and I haven’t since Dad passed but I didn’t put the two and two together to make a potato until the other day.

Today, Mom and I will just chill, pretty much like we have once we’re home. At 88, Mom still gets around but she doesn’t go too far in her travels. I know that I should be taking advantage of the time I have left here on this trip. But just being still in the house with Mom just watching TV is enough. I just hoped time would slow down to a snail’s pace. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have Mom here and to be honest, I’m not ready to let her go anytime soon.

So, why are the emotions starting earlier than usual? I don’t look forward to going back to Birmingham. But, you have your wife and amazing friends and church. I do. Right now, I’m not very happy with the work situation. While work doesn’t define me, I feel it’s become so much a part of my life that it’s overshadowed so much of the good things in Birmingham.

I’m not ready to go home to Birmingham yet.

My heart wants to stay here.